Sunday 19 July 2009

:: Table of Contents ::

I will keep updating this post to make easier for you to follow the book in a sequence. Also, at the bottom of each post you will find a link for the next chapter.

:: My Idea ::

:: Prologue ::

:: Chapter I ::

:: Chapter II ::

:: Chapter III ::

:: Chapter IV ::

:: Chapter V ::

:: Chapter VI ::

:: Chapter VII ::

:: Chapter VII - The other side ::

Chapter VII
The other side

Arnold's burial was getting closer. It would be on Wednesday, 29th July. His family asked the Hospital Director if I could go with them, since I spent some time with Arnold and he had talked about me as a good new friend in his last hours. Whether they would allow me to go or not, I didn't know yet. But the time was coming and we had one day left to the burial. I really would like to go; perhaps something on Arnold's life would make me know what he meant by 'go back'. That was the most strange sentence he said that day, but I know I could not hold on that thought; actually, I shouldn't. For now, just lie in bed and try to forget the shock would be quite okay. I was almost sleeping when someone knocked on the door. That was Madelijne, maybe she had some news.

She was already smiling even before I said hello. She should be used to presence moments like the one from that day very often. That's the reason why she was still smiling. Tough work; however she had a strong heart. Nevertheless that was just part of a doctor's routine.

- Hello Madelijne. I would ask how you are doing, but due to your smile I presume everything is fine.
- Well, that's a good observation. Although, a person doesn't have to smile only when things are going well. That's a poor feeling. You have to smile to be able to say that things are going pretty well. You can always change the final result based on your motivation, the level of happiness you put on that thing.
- Sorry, I didn't mean that. I was just trying to be cordial. What happened was as hard for you as it was for me. I didn't know Arnold for long time, but we had good talks in his last days. Even the way he introduced me to his family was sort of special for me. But for now, let's think about his burial: did the director say anything to you concerning Arnold's family request?

She wasn't smiling anymore. That was a shame, after everything that just happened to us, there was no space for misunderstood.

- Actually, I'm the director. I don't remember if I mentioned it before. However, it doesn't matter right now. I have talked to Rianne and Jeroen, they agreed you can go, but they shall go with you, just in case...
- There will be no 'just in case', Madelijne.
- I hope not. Jeroen will bring some clothes, something more suitable for the event. Tomorrow, around nine o'clock, they will come to pick you up.

That said, she went away. I was feeling really bad with everything that just happened. I knew that nobody was okay, but it didn't mean that I couldn't ask about their lives. I was just hoping that Madelijne would be able to understand that later on. For now, I got more interesting things to think about: there would be the burial; I would have only one shot. If I would be able to manage to escape was something really unpredictable; I didn't even have a plan. However, I was totally recovered, at least physically, and I knew I should use that opportunity wisely.

It was around eleven in the morning and I decided to have some rest. Few hours of sleep would help me to relax and think a bit more about my next step. I could still feel everything that happened in that room; I could still see that thing dropping something into Arnold's mouth. And that was really frightening. I wasn't in the same condition Arnold was before he died, but just stay in that room made me think what could happen if that thing would come for me as well.

I felt like I was fading away progressively; to fall asleep wasn't as difficult as I was expecting at all. Actually, I would rather expect to wake up faster, but later on that day I would find out how hard it could be. After five minutes, I could feel that breeze again, bringing some rest for an already broken mind. I knew that place and the only thing I could do was walk and enjoy the breeze, the grass and the light. Probably I would face the same mirror; or it could just break apart and I would wake up. However, due to everything that happened in the last weeks, nothing was for sure; and I thought it would never be. But something was different that time. I could see something else; someone else. I saw black clouds in the horizon: a storm was coming. But it wasn’t just a regular storm; what I saw was more like the whole earth was about to knee before the universe.

I was still walking when I saw a white spot in the middle of that storm. I wasn't able to define what was that thing, but I could see that something was just standing there, on the grass; perhaps waiting for me. Another couple of minutes have gone and I got a bit surprised: there was a man standing there, holding on a staff and dressing a white suit; and he was staring at me. I have been in that place before and I have experienced a really strange situation. However, I wasn't expecting that someone could share the same thing with me now. I kept walking and when I was getting closer he started waving his hand to me. I only believed on what I saw because that was a dream: that man was Mr. Arnold.

I was about three metres from him when he moved towards my direction. He looked the same, though he had a bit more of energy within; more than last time we have seen each other. For a dream it looked quite real, but I would be awake soon. I should use this time to have a conversation with him. Perhaps I could use something from it.

- Hi there...?
- Well, you should say something else, Natan. Just a 'Hello Arnold' would be quite nice.
- Sorry for that, but you died couple of days ago. Having this dream now is just a bit strange.
- So, here we go again. Do you really think I'm dead? Even if it's a dream, do I sound like a dead speaking?
- I have dreamed with this place before, Arnold. So, I do know it's a dream. I guess this time I put some other elements on it, like the storm and yourself. You were a nice friend, that's why you are here. Unfortunately, you will be buried tomorrow.
- Perhaps you are right. But what if you are not? Whether I'm going to be buried or not is a bit relative; it depends on which side of the mirror you will be. For now you have to focus on what we need from each other.
- I don't think I'm in a good condition to follow those riddles. Could you give me a proper explanation about what do you need from me?
- What I can tell you now is that you have to...
- Wait a second! It's not happening. Are you trying to convince me that this is not a dream?! I guess that's the most stupid dream I have ever had! I know what kind of help I need from you: please, stop acting insane!
- I'm not dead, Natan! Not yet...
- Let me see: it's like one of those cliché films, when someone is in coma and trying to get some help from someone else who is alive, right?
- Well, it's a bit complicated to explain. I have been through this for quite a long time already. We are not dead yet, but if we don't help each other we will be soon. We have to walk against that storm, we have to face it.
- Hello, someone wake me up! I want to get out of here. Hello!
- It doesn't work like that, Natan. Now I’m here, you can only leave if I allow you to. I have to make you understand.
- No, you want to persuade me to do something I wouldn't, probably.
- It’s not clear enough for you, I know, but if I die you will die as well.

The most uncomfortable thing till now was that Arnold seemed to be really quiet and peaceful. He wasn’t demonstrating any sort of resentment. If it was a dream, and by that time I thought it was, how could everything remain so clear? If the only way to wake up from that dream would be via Arnold’s will, I should try to listen to him.

- Right, Arnold. So, somehow, we are connect; just as I thought when mentioned those clichés. How can I help you on that?
- Well, I would say that if it was one of those clichés, one of us should be a woman, right?
- You still have your sense of humour, that’s interesting for a dream. But you are not answering my question. Also, not making anything clear to me.
- Natan, I need you to stop my burial. You cannot allow them to bury me. You have just one shot, don’t make any mistakes.
- Now I’m really scared. I’m not going to try something so stupid. Even if I would try to stop them, I wouldn’t know what to do. It’s just insane!
- Just focus on it and you will be able to stop them. It’s all in your head. It’s not me, but you are in the wrong side. Now you can go.
- Wait, wait...!

The storm went away in few seconds; I saw that blindly light. I couldn’t move or speak; I could just wait for the Sun to come and burn my flesh, turning my bones into ashes. After what seemed to be an eternity for me, I woke up and realised that I have slept for the last 10 hours.

Sunday 21 June 2009

:: Chapter VI - Farewell, Natan ::

Chapter VI
Farewell, Natan


- Good morning Sir. Hummm... Ok, they asked me to not do that, but I think we should either name you or use the name you asked us to. So, may I still call you Natan?
- Good morning Angela. And yes, you can call me Natan. I understand Jeroen’s concerns about my condition, but it’s not about alter egos, it’s just a name. Who knows in the future we can laugh about all of this, even about the name I took as mine.
- So, how are you doing today, Natan? Any news you would like to share?
- Well, I have indeed. It’s not news, but just a thinking I got after the talk I had with Jeroen yesterday. Actually, a bunch of coincidences. Do you have some time for a poor insane guy?
She looked at me with some serenity in her eyes; those big blue eyes. At the same time I thought that was pity, instead of serenity. Nevertheless I could realise that she would hear what I had to say.
- Your eyes have just answered my question.
- Thus, you can go ahead Natan.
- I know it will sound a bit insane, but just listen carefully, I guess it could help Dr. Rianne with some diagnosis. Well, I heard the recording of that day, Jeroen just came by after I woke up. What he played was just a big sequence of palindromic prime numbers. That is really difficult to reproduce, but I went so far that I almost didn't believe that was me. Still about palindromes, my room number, one-three-one, is really one; even the name I choose is a palindrome. To keep going on it a bit more, if we replace the letters of my name by numbers instead, we have one-four-one-two-zero-one-four-one. Let's remove the zero and we get another palindrome, and that one is prime. Going deeper into it, if we keep the zero we will have the number two-zero back, what is twenty; its position on the alphabet is related to the letter T; the Proto-Semitic symbol for T looks like the plus sign; thus, if we sum them we get two-eight-two. Should I go further?
- That is impressive, Natan. You really kept you math memories. I do understand some rules, but I wouldn’t think of something like that by my own. I heard Dr. Rianne talking about retrograde amnesia as well. You lost your memory, but you can keep math knowledge and a learn it really faster than normal people would do. But for now, just have your breakfast, it’s ten past ten already. We brought the TV last night, you can watch something and pretend to understand Dutch language. Nevertheless, you can just keep flicking through the channels. Still talking about news, Mr. Arnold asked us to move him to this room again. I hope it wouldn’t be a problem.
- Not at all. That will be really nice. But, when did he wake up?
- Well, about one week already, I guess. He is doing quite good. You will see for you self. Now I have to go.
- Thanks for everything, Angela, chiefly for listening to me. I’m really glad to have you here. Though I don’t know you that better, we still have some time to know each other.

She blushed a bit when I told that. She was really gorgeous... sublime.

- If you need something else, Natan, just let me know. See you later.
- Bye.

What did I mean by “bye”? I was just like a teenager, falling in love with the beautiful nurse. That wasn’t the right time to handle a romance. Would be better try to watch some TV and forget about what happened; and I was good with forgetting stuff.

I woke up from a deep sleep and then I realised that Mr. Arnold was staring at me from the door. However, the biggest surprise wasn't that, but the simple fact that he was standing; no wheelchair at all. So, in about one week he got really better. It looked like he had a bit more of life within, some extra energy. I would like to have the same medicine they gave to him.

Then he looked very deep into my eyes for a couple of minutes; as if he was looking for something, trying to read anything that he could get. I didn't say a word because I needed to make sure I wasn't sleeping anymore. Then he took one step further; for sure the deep sleep had gone by now.

- So, Angela already told you about me, right?
- Yes Mr. Arnold. What did they give to you? If I may ask. You look really better; I thought I was still sleeping.
- Well, I don't know how I got that better. It just happened. Also, there are some other things that even they have no idea how to explain. In the last three days I got back some memories as well; I'm feeling renewed. Perhaps it's the Death Angel giving me his greetings.
- I'm really glad for you, Mr. Arnold; and I doubt the Angel has come down to deliver you. Maybe you still have things to do and just got an extra time. Anyway, I'm really glad because now they will believe we played a bit of chess that night.
- I don’t know for sure, but I guess we didn't play at all. But it still true: I did have a chess table under my bed. But neither get worried nor start thinking about what you have done or not. As it happened to me, the answers will come to you as well. By the way, I asked them to put me back in this, your, room. My family is coming today and I want you to meet them, if that's okay with you.
- No problem, Mr. Arnold, it will be a pleasure. Concerning the chess match, maybe it was a dream or you just don't remember that. As you are getting your memories back, then the match happened during your fugue state. Anyway, let's move on; and that will be really nice to have you as a roommate again.

He hesitated for a couple of minutes, like trying to remember something he knew that he wouldn't be able to do so; he looked too far gone already. I shouldn't argue about some others people memories; I was in a worse state than him. Actually, he looked great compared with few days ago.

- Hey Mr. Arnold, are you okay?
- Yes... Yes. I just had a strange feeling, like everything was just fading away; but never mind. Concerning our chess match, no worries, if we didn't have that, it makes no difference: we are going to have one sooner. Now I have to go, see you later.
- See you, Mr. Arnold.

He went away; and the last thing I have heard from him was:

- Please, call me Arnold, Natan.

I didn't have any appointment, at least I wasn't aware of anything. Angela came, told me the news, heard my theories and went away almost as fast as Arnold. I would like to talk to someone else or just to leave this place. I was feeling like living in a prison. Nothing could make sense: numbers, names, palindromes... The whole thing was totally awkward. At least I was not tied to the bed anymore. So, I went to the toilet just to take a look at my face. I could remember that, but it was one week already since I have seen myself for the last time.

The toilet was the same, as my face. I knew I wouldn't get any answers just staring at the mirror, but I looked so strange to myself that it took around five minutes before I realised I got some beard. Unfortunately, they have took away the razor blades. After what I have done, that made lots of sense. I cleaned my face, in an attempt to wash away all those new memories; I wanted my old life back. Then someone knocked on the door. I stretched my body and took a look from the toilet door: they were just a couple of guys bringing some stuff to the room; maybe Arnold's stuff.

- Hi there.
- Hello Sir. Is everything okay?
- Yes, thanks for asking.
- We are just moving Mr. Arnold's stuff. We will be finished in a bit.
- Okay. It will be very nice to share the room with him again.
- Please, tell him that we found his chess table.
- Fine, I will.

And so they kept moving a mattress, Arnold's wheelchair and what I presumed was a briefcase with some clothes. After they have finished they just went away, as the guy told me. The only interesting point on this was that guy: he really looked like the guy who helped that lady to rescue me. But I couldn't prove anything and, above all, I couldn't mention that anymore. Not without getting in troubles. Nevertheless, I have got a detective working, helping me, on that. I went to my bed, it was about two o'clock in the afternoon and Arnold's family would come by. I couldn't sleep, not as deep as I have slept before.

I switched on the TV and tried to find anything in English. I found the History Channel on the number 209; at least it's not a palindrome number. Except if I added two to nine, so I would get eleven, and that one is a special palindromic prime number. If one considers the divisibility test for eleven, it can be deduced that any palindromic number with an even number of digits is divisible by eleven. Therefore, except for eleven, all palindromic primes have an odd number of digits. That was enough already. I could not afford those thoughts. I was already a tiny tired of all of this. It could get worse and I should put some effort on stopping those theories.

Then I heard some steps in the corridor. It seemed to be not only one person coming, but a whole parade. Perhaps it's Arnold's family. I was about to meet someone else other than people from the Hospital, and that was a sort of exciting. I couldn’t have any concerns about clothes, it wasn’t a date. But still, I had this feeling like receiving someone at my place, so I would like to have everything sorted out. Anyway, it wouldn't matter at all.

And so, after another thirty seconds, they came through the door. Arnold came first, and following him was his wife, as I presumed. It could sound a bit strange, but she looked like a young-old woman, with silver hair and a strange semblant on her eyes. After her a saw a real young lady, already around her thirties. She had a beautiful blond hair and brown eyes, that probably she got from her mother. They looked really nice, smiling and waving for me, a strange guy lying in bed with a remote control on his hand.

And then Arnold took the first move, just like in a chess match.

- So Annie, that's Natan, the guy I have been talking about.
- Hello Natan, it's a pleasure to meet you. Really nice to know that you came just few days before Arnold started getting better.
- Hi madam. It's a pleasure for me as well. I hope we all can meet again in a near future.
- Just call me Annie. You are a friend of my husband; thus a friend of mine too. And due to the changes on Arnold's condition, we shall come more often.
- That's really comfortable to know. At least, for some time, I will have someone to talk to. And the young lady, your daughter I presume.
- Oh yes, that's Emma, Natan. I don't know, or I don't remember, how good you are with chess. But I bet she can bit you. And it's not because she is my daughter, but she is really clever.
- Okay, let's have this chess tournament. Do you play chess as well, Annie?
- I do play a bit, but not as Emma.

For something about thirty minutes we had a really good time. I felt as I was from the family. I guess I got more attention than I really deserved, but it was so good that I could still ask for more. Actually, it would be a bit difficult to describe if I had to. They kept playing some memory games with Arnold. That was really impressive how Arnold could remember almost everything: moments, relatives' names, places,... Amazing! But then it happened. Slowly Arnold raised his hands to his head. He looked really strange, pale; his eyes had no expression.

- Who are you people?! Where am I?! Go away!
- Arnold, love, it's me Annie.
- No, you're not!

I started pushing the red button like a crazy. Emma was crying and had no action at all. When I realised Arnold was having a sort of trauma, epileptic attack. Then Angela and Madelijne came.

- What is going on here?! Angela, please time the seizure. All of you, please keep the area clear, he is having a tonic clonic seizure, but he will be fine.
- It's stopping already, Doctor Madelijne. It was shorter then I was expecting.
- Okay, turn him onto one side, gently. He is getting his conscious back.

It was so awful. I was really scared. But it seemed Arnold was coming back; he was looking for a point to fix his eyes on.

- What happened? Who are you? How did I come to this place? I don't recall anyone, but you.
Then he looked at me. That was really strange. He was still lying in bed; I didn't know if he could move at all. He was fading away again, like he was going to sleep.
- Shadows... You are all shadows. Darkness...
- Arnold, it's me, Annie, stay with me. Arnold!
- You are not her. I know my wife. You are just a shadow. But you, Natan, I can see you. What are you doing here? You have to go back as well.
Then he opened his mouth. I could see what seemed to be an Angel behind him, dropping something.
- Go back. You shouldn't be here. For whatever reason you came here, just go back.
- Arnold, what do you mean?
- Go back...

And so he passed away.

- Farewell, Arnold.

:: Chapter VII ::

Monday 1 June 2009

:: Chapter V - The detective ::

Chapter V
The detective

I was waiting for the detective at the same room I talked to Doctor Rianne. It was a relatively big room for just a talk; I guess bigger than the room I was sharing with Mr. Arnold. The table and two chairs were put in the middle of the room. With mathematical precision, I would say. I still didn't know his name; didn't have a chance to ask about. I didn't know for sure how he would be able to help me; how I would be able to explain about Mr. Arnold and the whole thing; from a simple "hello" to a match of chess; without look insane. Once more, I had just one shot. After everything that have happened, I couldn't simple rely on what he would say. Then he came.

- Morning, Sir. Putting aside your problems, how things are going here?
- Good morning, Sir...?
- Oh, sorry. It's Jeroen van der Wijk. A bit complicated for you, I think. But you can use only Jeroen, and that's my first name.
- Now it's fine. So good morning Mr. Jeroen. You can call me Natan.
- I think it's not a good idea to adopt an alter ego, Sir. We have to find your own. Is that right?
- No problem. So, from where are we going to start?

At this moment, he started looking into his briefcase. He took a notebook, few pens, a voice recorder and what seemed to be some medicine. Perhaps now I'm going to remember something, I thought.

- I already know some stuff; last night, I had a long talk with Rianne about you. For now, I need you to tell me anything that has possible happened after you talked to her.

For one moment, I thought about the way he mentioned Doctor Rianne. They were colleagues, but referring to her to a patient in such close way it's a bit strange. If they are married, or living in a relationship, she should have told me; at least I think she could. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. The only thing I need is get better quickly.

Then I told him everything about what happened. The conversation with Mr. Arnold, the news about his condition and even about the chess match we had up to 3 AM. For my surprise, he already knew about that.

- What if I tell you that Mr. Arnold is not able to talk right now? He is in an inducted coma.
- That's not true. He talked to me. He remembers the name I'm using. Wait, are you recording that?
- Yes Sir, I am. Please, the first step for you is to try to help yourself. You have to focus.
- Goddamned! That's the truth. He talked to me twice already!
- Sir, let's follow my plans: I will give you a shot of amibarbital. I need you to try to relax and I will do some basic questions. After that I hope you can answer everything I need to know. I will record all of our conversation, so you can listen for yourself later on. Is that fine for you?
- Yes, it's fine. But could you ask someone to bring some water? I'm really thirsty.

Since there was no phone in this room, Jeroen went out to look for some one. I knew that I was about to do something really crazy, but that was the only chance I had. I got up and took one of the chairs with me; quickly, but silently. I was waiting for him, hiding like a child. He wouldn't be able to see me before his fourth step into the room. Suddenly I heard he was coming. Now it's just a matter to wait for the right moment. Then, when I saw his head, I cast the chair against him; he just fell. However, there was no blood; and it was a sort of relief for me.

Now it was just a matter of time till someone would come. I knew that because he wasn't carrying any water. So I had to put my insane plan in practice, and quickly. I got his voice recorder and the amibarbital; I sat and tried to relax before the first move. Then I took a syringe and withdrew from the recipient all liquid that it could support. With one shot I inject everything on my vein, from my left arm; thus I fell.

I woke up in a green field. Perhaps the largest field I have ever seen. It was so flat that I could see a person kilometres away from me; but I couldn't see anyone now. The weather was so nice, warm, that I just realised that I was naked 5 minutes after I woke up. The sky was really blue and clear. I doubt anyone in the Earth have ever seen something like this before. However, there was no Sun. I wouldn't be able to explain if someone has asked, but there was no Sun for sure. I didn't know from where this light was coming from, but I guess it should be a good source. Everything was clear, linearly clear. Like thousands, or millions, of spotlights hanging in the sky. I felt strong and perfectly health. I ran for a couple of minutes; it seemed I haven't run at all; or I just ran really fast that I reached the same place I was before. I had to keep running.

After some time running in the middle of nowhere, I saw what seemed to be a mirror, like a big wall of glass. As I was getting closer, I could see some other figures, like people. Then I realised that those people were me, just a reflex; but how could they be? Closer I got and there were thousands of them, of me. They were so quite, like there weren’t moving at all. When I could contemplate their faces I saw nothing, but just feeless, nameless faces, no expression, no life. They weren't following my movements; they were just standing in front of me. Then I asked to myself:

- Who am I?

And they answered:

- We are you. You have to go back. And we shall not allow you to pass.

I woke up with a strong headache. It seemed I have just had a brain surgery and the doctor has used a power drill. I was a bit dizzy, but I could see that there was someone sitting before me. I tried to get up, but my forearms were tied. Then I realised that someone was adjusting the bed, since I couldn’t get up. That was Angela; she looked angry. So she said:

- You should be grateful for those that are trying to help you, instead of cast chairs against their heads.
- What happened?
- Well, that’s the 4th time you wake up and do the same question. Are you going to sleep again like the other times?
- Maybe now I’m really awake. What happened to me? Why am I tied against this bed? Where is Mr. Arnold?
- I guess you are really awake: too many questions. Doesn’t matter if I’m mad at you, I would have to answer those anyway. What happened: you cast a chair against Mr. Jeroen’s head. He fell and has been unconscious for something about 30 minutes. You are tied: well, you just took a shot of amibarbital that would make an elephant speak. That’s a good answer. Concerning Mr. Arnold, we moved him to another room. You are a bit instable, let’s say.

This time she was cold, tired, no expression on her face, no smile. I really did a big mess. Slowly I started remembering when I hit Jeroen’s head with the chair; what a crazy thing to do when you have amnesia and no documents. And what about that dream I had? I needed help, so I couldn’t talk about that now; chiefly because I didn’t have anyone else to rely on.

- I know that there are no apologies for what I have done to Mr. Jeroen; and probably my regret is not enough. I just need help, and I was desperately looking for someone to answer my questions.

She looked at me for what seemed to be few minutes. She didn't say anything, just kept looking, like someone trying to understand what is within you. I didn't know if she would be able to find something. I couldn't be able to do that myself; not now.

- Mr. Jeroen will come to see you. He came to the hospital every day since you did that. And it's also good to keep him up to date concerning your condition.
- Please, wait. What did you mean by "came ... Everyday..."? What date is it?
- It's Friday, 31st July, Sir. I will bring some food and water. If you need something in the meantime, you know what to do: push the red button.

So, I have been sleeping for almost 15 days; it’s a quite long period. It’s strange because it seemed I slept only for few minutes, only one dream: running in the field and facing myself in the mirror; facing thousands of me. Better wait for the detective and see if he got something interesting for me. Perhaps I could sleep a bit; return to that dream and try to get the answers for my questions.

I started sleeping again in what seemed to be few seconds after Angela left. For my surprise I went back to that dream: I was facing the same mirror; but there was none there. The light was fading away, like someone was switching off the sky. Suddenly, everything was dark, no spotlight at all. I couldn’t see anything; couldn’t be able to hear anything, except my own voice. There could be at least a moon, and so I would be able to see its pale face; but not even the moon was there. I should wake up; I could not afford that dream anymore. I was sleeping for centuries already...

- Hello Cinderella. I don’t have to kiss you, right?

The field was still dark, I couldn’t see anyone. But I knew someone just called me; or tried to make a joke. I remembered the guys from the ambulance, one of them told the same thing. It’s a bad joke.

- Who’s there?
- Wake up, man. You are still sleeping.

That was rude. Only one person could be mad at me at this moment: Mr. Jeroen. I just cast a chair against his head, so he has lots of reasons to be mad at me.

- Hi Mr. Jeroen. May I start saying sorry? I know it’s not enough, but...
- Don’t worry. I’ve been through worse. Next time you will be tied against the table, as you are now.

At least he was smiling on the right corner of his mouth.

- It won’t be a problem, Mr. Jeroen. So, tell me, what you have found? I hope you have had some time to find the owners of those documents.
- Indeed, Sir. However, I don’t have good news for you: both documents were false. I did my researches, trying to understand why someone would put that stuff in your wallet. I have my some theories, a bit strange I confess; but the whole thing is insane. So, here it goes: the passport is supposed to be from someone born in 1950; one lady. The only thing I found about a lady and a passport on 3rd August 1950 was a film: A Lady without Passport. Does it ring any bell?
- No, unfortunately not.
- Maybe the person who did that was a big fan of cinema. There was no delivery of a baby named Stanley Holloway 30th January 1982. However, and that’s relay crazy, the British actor Stanley Holloway died on this date. He was born on 1st October 1890.
- I have no idea at all. It seems really insane for me as well. Even on my condition, I wouldn’t be able to think about something like that.
- The third thing: the tape...
- Which tape?
- In your attempt to get an overdose of amibarbital you switched on the voice recorder. Of course it was intentional. Thus, I have the tape. However, before I can go forward, just one question: do you remember anything after the shot?
- I just remember a dream; and that’s the only thing I have in my mind.

Then I told him about the dream, all the elements it contained. Also, I told him about when I went to sleep, after Angela left, the other dream I had.

- Ok, that’s right. We can try to raise some hypotheses about your dream later on. For now, listen to it, please:

He started what I have recorded. The tape played:

- 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 101, 131, 151, 181, 191, 313, 353, 373, 383, 727, 757, 787, 797, 919, 929, 10301, 10501, 10601, 11311, …

He stopped after some time. Didn’t make sense to keep the sequence, I went really far.

- Do you know those numbers, Sir?
- Yes. They are palindromic prime numbers.

:: Chapter VI ::

Monday 25 May 2009

:: Chapter IV - A chess match ::

Chapter IV
A chess match

We were talking for almost two hours. Rianne showed me some pictures and asked about those behavioral questions. After I answered everything, she asked me to tell the story; everything, since I woke up on that beach till now. I knew it could take quite long; chiefly if I would mention the people who saved me. However I wouldn't talk about that, probably.

- The first thing that comes to my mind is that probably you have a hysterical amnesia. Something caused a shock that drove you into this condition. Despite the fact you had a hit on your head, it wasn't the cause. However, the main problem is the absence of an ID. Worse than that, those documents you found. What we can do...
- I know what you can do, Doctor! At least, I think I do. The only question is why are you taking too long to start a treatment? Give me some medicine, something.

Maybe I did a big mistake. I didn't wait for her to finish talking. That's the problem with doctors: they talk, talk and talk. Most of the time, 80% of what they say you were already expecting. I know I have amnesia and I'm confused about the documents. So, she could have said something a bit more useful.

- Mr. Natan, I'm trying to help you. So, please, let me finish. As I was trying to say, what we can do first is contact a detective to look for the owners of those documents. I have a friend that used to work for the Foreign Police. Also, he has some specialties in hypnosis. I guess he can help on both ways. I will ask him to come by, and do that as fast as he can.
- I'm sorry, Doctor Rianne. I hope you understand that it's not easy for me. I'm really thankful for your help.
- You are welcome, Ms. Natan. Now you can go back to your room.

That said she took her purse and some annotations she did, about me probably. Rianne was a red hair woman, as taller as I am. She wasn't wearing white, as most of the doctors do. The only white piece was a shirt, under her black blazer. She had black pants as well. The result of black clothes, red hair and green eyes was like if you have a she-elf dressed as a gothic girl. I stood up and opened the door for her. After we left the room, she took the first corridor on right and I kept walking straight ahead. After the junctions, I took the corridor on my left. The funniest thing I realised was that my room had a number totally against the pattern used. I mean, I found out that the rooms on my right had even numbers, starting from 200; on my left, the other rooms started from 201, odd numbers. So, why my room was numbered as 131?

When I reached the door I waited for some time, looking at Mr. Arnold’s bed. This time he wasn’t awake; at least from here it seemed he was sleeping. So, I guess I won’t have any surprises like “Hello Natan”. The strangest thing was that he just went to sleep after his greetings. Then I went to my bed, just to take some rest. The talk with Doctor Rianne was really long. We started by half past two PM, and now it’s almost half past five. Thus, some rest before the dinner is a quite good deal. I just lied on my bed, put my hands under my head, and when I was about to close my eyes in an attempt to remember something… I heard a voice saying:

- Well Natan, based on my last try, it seemed you don’t want to talk with your room mate. Am I right?

I just tried to think as fast as I could in 5 seconds. I couldn’t find any proper answer. I wasn’t desperate, just confused. The guy lying on the bed beside me tried to kill himself because he cannot remember anything. But now, and that is really strange, he heard my name and remember me. Even worse, he talks like a healthy person, in both physical and mental states. If suddenly he started getting better, is good for me as well; maybe they can fix me.

- Hello Mr. Arnold; and sorry for not talking to you earlier today, I wasn’t expecting you to remember the name I’m using.
- Sure, I understand. I was surprise as well for seeing you here.

Heartbeat increasing fast, anxiety; I thought I would have a spontaneous combustion. He should be kidding me. He was, definitively, kidding me. I sat on the bed with my hands on my head, but not in a relaxing position.

- What do you mean by “I was surprise as well for seeing you here”, Mr. Arnold?
- You can call me Arnold, no problem at all.
- Answer my question!

At that moment Angela came into the room. She looked surprise, staring at me.

- With whom are you talking to?
- With whom?! I’m talking to him…

Then I turned to Mr. Arnold, pointed to him and realised that he was sleeping. Now it’s the right moment to get desperate. I told her everything about what happened, after she left and after I came back from the talk with Doctor Rianne.

- Mr. Natan, I know it’s being hard for you to handle all of this, but we gave some medicine to Mr. Arnold. I don’t think it’s time for him to wake up.
- You don’t understand. He was awake; he is just pretending.

I stood up and took three steps to Mr. Arnold's bed; he was sleeping. At least that’s what I thought at a first glance. Then I tried to wake him up, touching his hand gently. He was so cold. For one moment I thought I was touching a dead body. But suddenly, he made some noise, like a dog grunting. I looked at Angela and she just moved her shoulders, like she didn’t understand anything at all. I gave up and I went back to bed.

- Mr. Natan, I do perfectly understand that you are really confused. I already told that. Just relax and try to sleep a bit, you need some rest. Doctor Rianne asked me to tell you that her friend is coming tomorrow to see you.

Let me see: detective, hypnosis specialist and psychologist. I guess that fine and it means good news. I will try to forget about Mr. Arnold for now.

- Fine by me, Angela. I'm not going anywhere. What did you bring for me?
- Let's see: some soup, bread and an apple. If you want some coffee, just let me know.
- Everything is fine. Thank you.

She was leaving the room when she stopped and turned to me:

- I almost forget. I asked if you could watch some TV. So, by now, if you want to, you can go to the reception. Just don't leave the main hall. We will bring the TV tomorrow. But keep in mind that you have to keep an eye on Mr. Arnold; he can try again with the TV wires.
- That's fine. I guess he won't move anyway.

She left and I was having my dinner. I was really full of hope. The detective could give me some amibarbital and I would talk about everything. That would help me to find my family, or someone that was looking for me now. It took almost one hour to have a plate of soup and four slices of bread. The apple I would eat later on. I was really excited about the next day. Then I heard a deep breath. I thought for one second who did that; and I closed my eyes. He said:

- So she left. And she is still thinking I'm sleeping. What do you think, Natan? May I call you Natan?

I repeated to myself several times that he was still sleeping.

- Come on, Natan. You know I'm awake. You know I can talk to you.
- What's the matter with you, Mr. Arnold? Why don't you talk to other people?
- Well, it's a bit hard to explain. I tried to kill myself, as you heard about. After that, I started keeping some memories in my mind. I guess that’s why I remember you. But there is something else: you seem really familiar to me. But this I cannot recall.
- My second question...
- Well, it's just as strange for me as it is for you. I don't want them to make any sort of experiment with me. In time everything will be explained.

That's the second time I heard the phrase here. What is it about? Maybe it’s just an old cliché; maybe not. At least Mr. Arnold explained a bit about his situation.

- Do you to play some chess, Natan? It could help you to get your memories back; at least about chess.
- Well, if you can remember you can teach me.
- It's under my bed, get. Let's adjust the high of our beds and use this wheel chair as a table.

We played chess for almost the whole night. I was a bit surprised because I could remember something about chess, indeed. We went to sleep around 3 AM; I just ignored Angela remarks about rest. By nine in the morning she came into the room; I was just waking up. She told me:

- You slept like a baby. I came to check if everything was fine, by 8 PM, you were in a deep sleep. How do you feel today, Mr. Natan?

Thursday 21 May 2009

:: Chapter III - Hello Mr. Arnold ::

Chapter III
Hello Mr. Arnold


They took me to the room number 131. It seemed to have something about 20 square metres, plus a bathroom. I looked over my left shoulder and saw another bed, a wheelchair and what seemed to be a person under the sheet. He, or she, was so thin that for one moment I thought it was just a couple of pillows not well arranged. But suddenly I realised that pillows do not breathe. Well, I wouldn't check by myself; sooner or later I would be introduced to him/her.

I was at that place for around one hour, someone has to come and see me. When I stopped thinking about that, a lady came into the room. She was a black woman, around 185 cm tall, with a strong body, maybe 50 years old, with a big smile on her face. She just transmitted to me a really good amount of happiness. She was wearing one of those white jackets, just like coming from a noir film. She looked at me and said:

- Hello handsome. My name is Madelijne, but you can call me Doctor Madelijne if you prefer. I don't really care for the Doctor thing; it's not part of my name. How are you feeling? My colleague just told me you cannot remember anything. Got better in the last hour?
- Hi Madelijne, really nice to meet you. I do feel better; but still, cannot remember anything. At least my eye, head and leg are not in pain anymore. I mean, I can handle that for now on.
- That's all right, son. We will try to collect some information about you. We don't have your details yet, but some of them we can get from your ID, if you have it with you.
- That's another problem. I didn't have any chance to tell this to the other guys. Please, come closer and look at what I found on my wallet.

At that moment she came, maybe 3 steps closer. Now I was sitting in the bed; I lifted my right hand on her direction, holding the passport and the ID. She was looking at me, a bit serious, but still with a smile on her face. Then she took them from my hand, had a look for a while, like she was trying to decipher something. She turned her black eyes on me and said:

- Son, it's a quite strange. We have received some people with memory problems, but most of them were just old and had Alzheimer. I hope it's not a joke. I cannot take any conclusion now, of course, but you know it's a crime pretending to be ill just to take some advantage from the government. Don't you?
- Mrs. Madelijne, you are just as much surprise as I was when I first saw those documents. I'm not pretending anything. I really would like to remember how I came to The Netherlands. If you have some time now, I can explain everything I have been through since I woke up on that beach.
- I'm so sorry, son. I didn't mean that. It's just a quite strange for me. Never mind. Doctor Rianne will come later on to talk to you. She is our psychologist; probably she will take you to another room. Before that, the nurse will come with some food and juice, you need to eat something. You had some serum on your way from Ameland to here, because you were dehydrated; that’s why you don't feel hungry right now, but still you have to eat. Is there anything else I can do for you now?
- Actually there is something: I would like to have a really good shower, get shaved and, if it's possible, someone could shave my head as well. You know, I got this bandages and they shaved just a little spot to be able to put the tape. I don't think I look like handsome now.

She laughed really loud when I told that. And it was really sort of magical how she could transmit all that energy. I hope I can remember her after I get my old memories back. When she stopped laughing, and it took a while, she told me:

- You can have a shower and get shaved just after I leave. Of course, if you can stand up and walk by your own. If you need help, juts push the red button on your right side, and someone shall come quickly. I will tell the nurse to bring a shaver with her, so she can help you after your lunch.
- Lunch?! What time is it? When?
- It’s just half past midday. You had a good night of sleep. Concerning when, it is Friday already, 17th July. Do you remember the year?
- I saw on the calendar in the ambulance. It's 2009, isn't it?
- Yes, it's 2009. Good observation, by the way. So, when Rianne finishes her job, I will come to see you again.
- That's fine, Mrs. Madelijne. Have a nice day.

She went away, still smiling and like singing a song while she walked through the corridor. And then, just ten seconds after, she came to the door and asked:

- How do you want to be called: Anne-Marie or Stanley?

She laughed again and when I realised I was laughing like a child, almost crying. Then I remembered the person sleeping beside me; I looked at her and made a silence sign. And I said:

- Please, just don't call me John Doe. I would suggest something like Natan; and I would say that I don't recall why, if you ask me.

Then, she went away.
This time I waited for a while before she left. It's time to be really handsome, I thought. I went to the bathroom; it was a 3 per 2 metres bathroom; the shower was in a metallic box on my right; I saw some towels hanging on a hook in the wall, just in front of me; also a sanitary just beside where the towels were hanging on. I couldn't see a mirror; I really would like to see my face. Then I switched on the light and I saw the sink on my left, a bit behind the door. If there is a sink, probably there will be a mirror. There is always a mirror above a sink, I told to myself. I have to step into this bathroom and face myself; and I did that with my eyes closed. One step in, then I turned left 90 degrees, waited for some time, thinking about the shock that it could be for me. I was expecting to receive an avalanche of memories at once. Then I opened my eyes and the most probably thing just happened: I didn't recognise myself.

I was standing for few minutes already, contemplating myself. I was a tall guy; not really tall, but around 180 centimetres; light-brown eyes, brown hair. Yes, actually a nice guy as the doctor said. But at that moment, I was tired, and I could see that on my face. Maybe all I needed was a shower to wash all of this away. So I went to have my douche; and after that I should get shaved. I checked in a drawer below the sink and there I found all I needed.

I was feeling like a new person, cleaned up and with no memories, lying on my bed and just waiting for my lunch when she came into the room. I almost fell from the bed. I felt like someone was making a bad joke with me. Maybe that place wasn’t a hospital at all. I stared at her with a sort of fury in my eyes and asked:

- What the hell are you doing here?!

She got scared after that. I guess she was expecting another reaction; or maybe nothing at all. I took a deep breath and said:

- Please, take my apologies. I'm really a bit confused and just see you here is not something that I was expecting. But since you are a nurse, why did you let me there yesterday? I heard the recording from the emergency and I thought I was getting crazy.
- Pardon me, Sir, but I don't know what you are talking about. I was working for the whole day yesterday. I have never seen you before. But no worries, I understand your condition.

She was really cold when she said that, there was no way she could be lying to me; and I could just believe on her.

- Doctor Madelijne told me to call you Natan. So, Mr. Natan, do you want you lunch now? I also brought a shaver, after lunch we can work out a new hair cut for you.

I just agreed with what she said, without saying anything back. Then on that afternoon I had my first lunch at the Talma Sionsberg Ziekenhuis; that was the name I saw on her uniform. Now I have to find out her name.

- So, what’s you name, if I may ask?
- It’s not a problem at all, Sir. My name is Angela. I’ve been working here for a while, around 2 years.
- Two years is a quite long time. I mean to work at the same place. But of course it depends on several variables. Is that your first job?
- I agree concerning the period, but as a first job, and it answers your last question, it's a good time to learn and grow on my career. Perhaps, they can offer me some good opportunities here.
- You are right; and I don't know that much about your job. Actually, I don't know about anything else.

She gave me a single smile when I said that. It's interesting what's happening here, I already started making jokes with my current condition. I guess it's something good; at least I'm not really a boring guy.

- And who is lying on the other bed?
- That's Mr. Arnold. He is here for a long time; longer than I am, indeed. He has multiple sclerosis. Unfortunately, few days ago he tried to kill himself. I came with his dinner and after some time he asked for more water. After I went to bring some more, he broke his plastic spoon and stabbed it into his fore arm, just closer to his pulse. When I came back he was unconscious and bleeding a lot. I don't know if he will remember that, even with the scar. Anyway, he is almost 85 years old. With all of his complications, he won't last that much.
- You just made a bit heavy remark with your last comment. But despite that fact, why did he try to kill himself? I know it's a tough situation, but that's not the end.
- Well, his family came here one day before his attempt: wife, daughter, granddaughter and grandson. He didn't remember anyone of them. They spent one hour talking and trying to make him remember at least some moments. Before they left, his wife gave to him a video with almost everything they have been through. He watched the video the day after, just before his dinner. So, maybe, that would be the reason.

I didn't say anything. I was just thinking about my situation. Maybe it was even worse because I don't know if I have a family to look after me. However, it's not time to get desperate, not yet.

- I guess we had a good chat for today, right?
- Yes, that's right Angela.
- So, let's have a look at your hair. How do you want that?
- Good one, maybe you can try Clark Kent style.
- A Lex Luthor hair cut is more suitable for you now.

Then we laughed together. And it's always good to laugh. It gives a sort of feeling that for one moment everything will be fine, every step taken in a wrong direction will lead you to the right place. It's always comfortable to laugh.

She took a small bank that was sitting under the bed and asked me to follow her. We went to the bathroom and there she shaved my head. And I thought that would be everything for the 17th of July; I went to my bed to take some rest, maybe talk a bit with Mr. Arnold if he decided to wake up. Anyway, I just remembered that still have to talk to Mrs. Rianne. It could be a sign that 17th of July is just at its beginning.

I was in the bed for around 30 minutes after Angela left. I knew that because she gave me her watch before she went away. If someone asked me about my idea of paradise now, probably I would say that the most perfect example of it would be just stay in a hospital, with someone taking care of you. Of course that's the most stupid answer for everyone in the world. However, comparing it with my experiences of yesterday, I can say I'm in heaven. It's all relative.

Unfortunately, after the incident with Mr. Arnold, they took away the TV from the room. But Angela promised me to arrange something useful for my spare time. And I do have time. I tried to have Mr. Arnold's attention, talking to myself and pretending to sing a song that I even don't really know if that was a song indeed. It doesn't matter at all. After 5 minutes I went to the toilet, I wanted to take a leak. When I came out the toilet I saw that figure, I couldn't dare to call it a man. He was so thin and white. Not white, but almost transparent. He was staring at me, with his blue eyes, really light-blue eyes. For one moment I thought he was still sleeping, so I took one step further. He was following my steps with his eyes. Fortunately, I reached my bed before he could freeze me with that look. Then, for my surprise, he said:

- Hello Natan.

:: Chapter IV ::

Wednesday 13 May 2009

:: Chapter II - A recorded voice ::

Chapter II
A recorded voice


I’m on my way to the hospital, lying on this white stretcher; but I’m feeling really better now, I can open both of my eyes. After hours of pain and blindness, it’s a really comfortable feeling. There are two paramedics in the ambulance alongside me; they are talking to each other now, in Dutch; maybe about my condition. I don’t remember being asked to give them any ID. I would like to see something else other this white roof. Let’s try to create a dialog.

- Hummm… Hello there (and I coughed).
- So, you are awake, Cinderella; and doesn’t speak Dutch.

And the other guy said:

- It wasn’t Cinderella who went to sleep, I already told you. It was Sleepy Beauty.
- Well, I bet he got the point. Anyway, they were all beautiful princesses with nice clothes and a bunch of guys running after them.
- I’m fine, guys, thanks for asking.
- You should be fine now. We cleaned up the wound on your left eye. Now it’s just a blacked eye. About your head, I hope you don’t mind, but we had to shave it bit to be able to clean it and put some bandages.
- So, it wasn’t that bad at all. A shaved head and a blacked eye, that’s fine for me.
- I didn’t finish yet. You forgot about your leg? Let’s say, you had an affair with one of those carnivorous jellyfish from the Wadden Sea. They use to appear during the low tide. It’s not like a box jellyfish, but it hurts a lot. We cleaned the wound with acetic acid and now it’s fine.

What more could happen to me? It looks like those Bruce Willis’s films: when everything goes wrong and he gets all the wounds he can take; and by the end he saves the world. I guess I’m no supposed to save the world, I didn’t do anything to anyone; at least I’m expecting so.

- Sir, now you are awake, we need some personal details to send to the hospital, if that’s okay with you.
- So, she didn’t mention to you that I have amnesia…?
- She? There was no she. We found you unconscious closer to a phone booth, in the parking spot on the west side of the island. I don’t recall now, but I guess my colleague told me on the phone that you made the call.
- One moment, now it’s getting worse. I had a whole conversation with someone I created myself?
- Sir, I don’t really know. I will ask my colleague to send the recorded call so you can hear that for yourself.
- I would really appreciate that.
- As you pleased, Sir.

It’s a bit insane: “there was no she”. I know I have been through some stress in the last hours, but start creating illusions is far beyond my imagination. But, as the paramedic said, I was stung by this very poisoned jellyfish; perhaps that’s why I saw the angel-like lady. For now I can just wait for him to call his colleague.

I think we are about ten minutes on the way to somewhere. I didn’t have a chance to ask where they are taking me. It’s so obvious: to the Hospital. But, where is the Hospital? It’s just a matter of asking them, they are nice guys. Maybe for now, I can keep checking the interior of this ambulance, looking for some useful information; or at least something that I wouldn’t have to ask for. What I see on my left side is:

1. Defibrillator;
2. High-Flow-CPAP (that one is used for intensive care);
3. Container for syringes and needles;
4. Syringe drivers;
5. Some drugs;
6. Some drawers with bandages, burn kits and masks;
7. Calendar…

At least now I know today’s date: Thursday, 16th July 2009. And I know that because they have one of those plastic pieces to mark the current date on the calendar. It’s a squared red piece of plastic, probably with a magnetic bottom used to hold the paper against the metal of the ambulance.

The paramedic just came to me to say that he got the recorded call. It’s marvellous how the technology can help us nowadays. He showed me just one mobile phone and told that her colleague sent a MP3 file with the call. He asked me:

- Do you really want to hear that? We know you have been through something really bad; you lost you memory; and now we told you have created that lady. First of all, you have to remember that we are trying to help you.

He just turned on the “thing”. First I heard some noise, like the wind waving the trees; then the voice. I was stunned! I was hearing what seemed to be my own voice. The recording said:

- Do you speak English? Please, I need help. I woke up at this place. I don’t know where I’m, my head is bleeding and I have wounds on my leg and left eye. Please, send an ambulance.

I was stunned! That could be difficult to anyone in the world to deny his own voice on a recording. I tried to tell the paramedic that there was that girl, and she wasn’t alone. I haven’t seen anyone, but she mentioned “we went there to see the seals”. I asked him:

- How could I know about seals at that place?
- It’s your own story, Sir, I have no idea. But don’t worry; we understand your current condition. We are about three minutes from the ferry, and then you should be taken to the hospital in Dokkum. It will take around forty minutes to arrive there, but you are fine and we already gave you the medicine you need.

I have to find something logic about the recording. I cannot remember who I’m or how I came to this place, but I do remember everything else, since when I found that piece of mirror and took their attention. I just remembered the names of the equipments in this ambulance, maybe I was a doctor. I mean, I’m a doctor. Okay, I got another good shot: the voice frequency. And I said:

- I know it may sound strange for you, a guy with amnesia talking about voice frequency, but due to the noise we heard on the line it could be something else pretending to be me. Perhaps the people who rescued me had something better to do and just put me closer to that phone booth after they called the ambulance. You guys do know about the voice frequency. What we hear from our own voice is not the same sound we hear from a recording machine, for example. A typical telephone transmits frequencies in the range 300 to 3.000 vibrations per second. It’s really much narrower than the 80 to 10.000 vibrations per second we do.
- Sir, I was really good in science, so I don’t need this explanation. Perhaps they did that to you. Did you already think about? I think you should take some rest, you need that. In time everything will be explained.

What did he mean by “in time everything will be explained”? I cannot keep arguing with them now. I don’t know anything and unfortunately I need them. I still have a couple of minutes before they send me to the coast; I can try some other approach.

- Did you give me any sodium amibarbital? You know it could make me speak.
- No Sir, we didn't. We know what does it do and its reactions. Also, we know that you need medical attention and probably will stay for few days in the hospital. Sodium amibarbital can only be used when other therapies doesn't work. We don't even know your situation. Please, I'm trying to help and asking for your cooperation. My colleague will take you to the ferry and through the way to the hospital, please behave yourself.

That said I could only shut up. I felt like a child, when accidently threw its ball against the neighbour window. I was really ashamed. When I looked again, I saw he was saying something to his colleague. Unfortunately I couldn't hear that. Then he turned to me and said:

- Due to our whole conversation, I didn't get any detail about you. I know you cannot tell me your name, because you don't remember, but I didn’t see any ID. Don’t worry about that right now, you will be asked for in the hospital.

When we reached our destination, though I told them I could walk, they insisted that I should stay lied in the stretch and they could take me to the ferry. After my desperate speech about the recording and everything else, that was really nice that they were still keeping the good work; they are really good professionals.

We were walking down the quay and I could see from my stretch the sun set. They told me to lie down, but I insisted to sit, instead. I couldn't let that gorgeous sun set goes away without having a proper look at it. There was no wind, so the water was really quiet; the sun was in red flames, going down nicely. It seemed it could evaporate the whole sea, sterilize the whole planet; it seemed it was really closer to us, just like a carriage guided by fire horses going round and round, every day. One day it should stop, would stop. Everything has an end, doesn't matter how long it takes to be reached. One day the horses won't be on fire any more; one day there won't be anyone to give them a look, to contemplate their beauty, so they shall go to their barn and just sleep.

:: Chapter III :::